and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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