listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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