Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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