she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
