Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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