where does the pee come out of this thing
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
