Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
