hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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