he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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