drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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