are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I intend to get homeless drunk
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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