she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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