More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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