Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
