We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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