Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
