we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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