i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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