woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
