You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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