I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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