He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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