I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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