i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
