I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
