If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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