you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
