Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
