I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
