so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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