Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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