dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
did you just send me my own nude
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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