just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
