If you die in college, do you die in real life?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
