Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
