I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
