I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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