I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
40s are totally the cure
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
