I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
