Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
