Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
