You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
