i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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