you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
