mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She's JV to your varsity
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the condom got lost in my hair
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We are all done wearing pants today
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