bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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