I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
