I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
