What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
