You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
